Priorities and Perspective

I’m on my own once again. This past summer when the girls went to spend their vacation with their father, I had just found out about his girlfriend, and subsequently went on a bit of a self-indulgent bent. This time is different, I feel clarity instead of numbness. I’m focused on things to be done and most importantly, in charge of my priorities.

When I was raising children I heard a lot about the work and family-balancing act. This scale is heavier now for me. My practical mind tells me what should be up there, my emotional mind likes to battle it. For me the balance is between these two minds, allowing one to inform the other, but not dictate or overpower one another.

Of course at the top as always, my kids and my health. The others scramble for attention below that; The X and his demands, career and ambition and my struggle to have a personal life. There is ebb and flow on all of these points. But there are certainly times when I have no problem eliminating any one of these. The foundation and support I have from friends and family help to keep it all in perspective.

It’s funny that much from a year ago is such a blur to me. Psychologically I’m not sure where I was. I can blame it on the meds, but if I’m truthful, I take more now and my judgment doesn’t feel clouded.

With the kids gone for the Christmas break I will lean on friends and family, tis the season after all. Loneliness will not occur, though I will have time for lots of thinking. I just need to stem that impulse to over think things.