more on the being single

My personal life is embarrassing to write about. I am completely aware that having been married for so long, I am somewhat immature to the ways of adult relationships. It’s like a bizarre gap in my knowledge (and I pride myself on the knowledge of many topics) . To this end, I am admittedly green and self-conscious about my actions when it comes to relationships, but I’m learning.
I’ve operated on the idea for a long time that when you’re into someone, or alternately, them into you, it’s instant, you know right away where you stand. But in the dating world, I often don’t know where I stand and get impatient enough to just end it before the other person does. That action alone seems immature, but in my reality it is necessary.
As for being single, I’ve noticed the men I’ve been involved with falling in to 2 categories. The forever bachelor is under 35 and rhapsodizes about parenthood, but in reality is not interested in a relationship. They seem to be still swinging singles as their outlook is quite young and inexperienced. I'm attracted to the aspect of fun but find that I hide parts of myself to accommodate the light and breezy personality. It's feels forced and fake like I'm acting, and doing it badly.
The second category is the broken-hearted-but-still-standing. Over 40, divorced, maybe has kids, maybe not, either way, they are too distressed by their breakup to fall into anything serious. I’m attracted to someone who has had similar experiences but the too-broken-to-try just leaves me empty and dissatisfied.
Needless to say, there have been no winners so far, but some interesting experiences. I’m slowly becoming adept at guarding my heart and dealing with attachment, or rather not becoming attached in the emotional sense. Nothing I’ve been involved with has really gone past the 2-month mark. Having few previous experiences before marriage has put me on the learning curve of defining this single life of mine. Resounding in my head is the line a married friend gave me recently, "you're so lucky, you get to have a do-over." But will the do-over result in Mr. Perfect?